How Many Times?

When I go on holiday, it begins the moment I close my front door. Why? Because I enjoy the journey and it gets me in the mood for my break. I’m one of those sad people who likes driving on the motorway, or flying, or sitting on a train. I like to travel between places.

I normally don’t get stressed when I’m travelling. Unless things are running late then I quickly become frantic, but as I’m always ridiculously early it’s never too much of a problem. I’ve never been a big fan of the return journey, but I have the enthusiasm of a two year old with a big box when I’m going away. There was one trip however, where I was stressed for every second between leaving home and my flight landing on foreign soil.

I was due to go to Disney World with a friend, and a couple of days before going, I got a really bad stomach. I ended up spending a day just sitting on the toilet, as no food stayed in my system for more than about five minutes. I knew that the airline wouldn’t let you fly if it was really bad, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me.

The day before we were due to fly out, my friend journeyed down to mine. I did get enough time to meet up with him between breaks, just about. As it wasn’t getting better, I was starting to get worried about the next day. I did eat something bready for tea, and it seemed to digest properly. So I was hopeful for the next morning.

The moment I woke up the next morning, I knew that it wasn’t good. I just couldn’t shake off the need to go to the toilet. My friend was slightly worried that I wouldn’t be allowed onto the flight. After all, I had talked him into the trip. But I was going for it. I had a simple plan, do one thing between visitations and hope no one noticed.

So, the morning went something like this:

  1. Go to toilet
  2. Run out front door onto bus to East Croydon
  3. Arrive at East Croydon Station and go to the toilet
  4. Jump on train to Gatwick
  5. Sit on toilet on the train
  6. Arrive at Gatwick Airport
  7. Find toilet
  8. Check in, and get boarding pass
  9. Go for toilet break
  10. Go through security
  11. Empty bowels
  12. Walk to flight departure gate
  13. Stop halfway to pop into the toilet and again just before going getting to the waiting area
  14. Get on plane

Normally when I fly, I like to sit on a window seat. I enjoy looking down on the clouds plane flys over them. This time, I decided to take the aisle seat, as it gave easier access to the facilities.

I ended up going about once an hour during the flight. A stewardess did ask me at one stage if everything was alright. I replied that it was nothing, as I was a nervous flyer. I just wasn’t nervous for the reason that she thought I was. By then, there was nothing they could do about it anyway. They weren’t going to turn the flight around. Were they?

I arrived in Orlando ready for the best that Disney could throw at me, and do you know what? After my arrival everything was back to normal. Could it have been nerves before my holiday? Of could a nine hour flight be the best thing for an upset stomach.

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